In the world of a small person, immutable truths are constantly being formed, the destruction of which leads to stress, rejection and even psychological injury. The awareness is incredibly difficult for the immature mind that parents are bred. The editorial office 24cmi has prepared material on how to inform the child about the upcoming dissolution of marriage.
To be or not to be
The relationship of adults with children throughout their lives is tested for strength. Among the reasons for the separation of the couples, the most fun are unfulfilled expectations, treason, household problems, lack of compromise and sincerity, financial difficulties. In other words, the decision on the rupture is made on the basis of good arguments.If parents in the firm of conflict declare a divorce, they talk about this to the child, and the next day, the baby is in such a situation in the authority of contradictory emotions and closes.
Who remains
So, the decision to divorce finally and is not subject to appeal. How to tell about this child? At first, parents find out how the presence in the family of the outgoing partner will be carried out:
1. Leave forever. The parent often makes an erroneous decision to hide the details and replace the reason for the absence of a family member by distracted facts (dad went into the world swimming or flew into space). So the child exacerbates anxiety, the regime of permanent expectation is turned on, which negatively affects the psyche.
2. "Sunday Parent." With such a situation, children are forced to choose, and parents are aware of the compete, who is better. The child, "Running" between a tender father and a demanding mother, receives heterogeneous life attitudes, traumating the psyche and deforming the perception of reality.
3. Partner. The least painful option is the minimum changes in the lifestyle. What to do in this situation: to give children equivalent attention, play, walk, take an active part in development, harmonize questions of education with a former spouse.
Tell the sad message can both one parent, and both: the child trusts both. If the spouses are afraid or do not imagine how to convey the thought of the baby, you can ask for help from relatives.
Dialogue by age
Up to two years, the child painlessly perceives the absence of one of the parents. To talk about divorce in all details of the three-year period inexpedient. Pretty simple, understandable words to convey the thought that the baby still loves and will not give up under any circumstances.At the older children will arise the questions to which the parent will be carefully prepared.
When talking with adolescents, parents sometimes make a number of mistakes: discredit a former partner ("Look, a nickidal mother!"), Remove it from life (as if the second does not exist at all). An adult man is important to understand that negative emotions are also emotions. Share with your child experiences, listen to his mind, go to a psychologist, do not set up a teenager against the former spouse: Later he will understand the true causes of events.
Who's guilty?
Children's psyche burly experiencing news of the divorce: the boys become uncontrollable, the girls closes in themselves. And those and others sometimes express protest, doubt the parent authority or put themselves in the place of guilty. Only parental attention, care, readiness for a conversation and sincere sympathy can achieve mitigation.
Weather in the house
Children "creeping" emotions. The task of parents is to minimize scandals, screams, insults, tears and aggression. Put yourself in place of the child: how to develop harmoniously, when the world around the world is filled with evil. If due to the divorce, the offspring is forced to change the place of residence, school, kindergarten, then help the came to adapt in new social conditions.