According to the Federal State Statistics Service (Rosstat), the number of disintegrating families is growing steadily. Among the causes of divorces, the dependences of one of the spouses are dominated, the absence of its own housing, the unwillingness to start children, a long separate accommodation. The editorial office of 24cmi amounted to a selection of topics that it is advisable to discuss with a man before the wedding so that "surprises" did not cause short-term family relations.
Psychological nuances
Family psychology suggests that future spouses psychological roles in relations: traditional (husband is a defender, a minider, the head of the family; wife - housewife, mother), affiliate (economic, legal, social aspects), friendly (domestic aspects).Before the wedding, it is advisable to discuss with the male zone of responsibility and plans for the near future: Suddenly a woman wants to build a career, and the partner dreams of five children after marriage. Accept the chosen one as it is, is difficult, but performing the task.
Life directions
Careful observation of daily habits, lifestyle, questions about dreams and plans will help a woman learn partner closer and adjust the life direction. For example, the future bride may want to be the "first lady" and the right hand of the conquering vertices of the spouse, and the partner in the evenings passes the mug of the "Beel for Scientific Roer" and is pleased with the situation in society and at work.
Participation of parents
Mother and Father are sometimes more important than spouses, for example, in crisis situations or at the birth of children. A woman before the wedding is desirable to discuss with a man, which place in the relationship parents will occupy (the time of staying in the house, the organization of family holidays, vacations, the role in raising children, financial assistance).
Children
Another nuance is attitude to children. It is advisable not only to discuss the number of desired offspring, but also determine the procedure in case of possible infertility, unwanted pregnancy, distribution of duties at the birth of a baby.Finance and real estate
Loan debts, taxes become an unpleasant "surprise" after the wedding. Honest discussion of financial problems, capital investing, the acquisition of real estate and movable property strengthen the foundation of family relations. Someone dreams of a country house and two cars, and someone invests money in the shares of companies - both, and the other benefits if desires and dreams have a common goal.
Dependencies
Potential addiction can be foreseen, even when a woman and man have fun in clubs at the "candy-bought-bought" period. It is necessary to learn from a partner before the wedding, if there were cases of drug addiction, alcohol, gambling, criminal past in relatives and friends of the beloved man. This will prevent possible problems and will help draw up an action plan when dependent is detected.Intimate question
The family council is made a discussion of contraceptive methods, the frequency of sex, the attitude to the materials of a pornographic nature, toys for adults and experiments, one-time relations on the side. The silence of intimate issues leads to serious problems in family relations and termination of marriage, so it is better to postpone the constraints to the side.
Life
In everyday life, partners are discussing what responsibilities are assigned to each of the future spouses (the frequency of cleaning, cooking). Perhaps a family pair will be more convenient to use the services of cleaning lady and deliveries of finished food. It is necessary to develop tolerance to each other's household peculiarities: monitoring of habits and their adjustment in the name of love - the key to a happy relationship.Interests
Will there be affected by the quality of family relations and tastes? It is advisable to find out before the wedding, how the partner represents the future wardrobe of the family, what hobbies are interested in spouses and how much financial costs need to be satisfied.
Crisis situations
Healthy relationships suggest work on the behavior of each partner. Discussion of previous conflicts and how to solve them makes changes to the tactics of behavior in order not to allow aggression, psychological and physical violence.